Wacky things you can do to keep the office environment on its toes

Author Unknown




        Run one lap around the office at top speed.

        Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.

        Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."

        To signal the end  of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and cringe.

        When  someone hands you a piece of paper, point to it, and whisper huskily,  "Mmmmmmm,  that feels soooooo good!".

        Leave your zipper open for one hour. If  anyone points it out, say "Sorry, I really prefer it this way".

        Walk sideways to the photocopier.

        While riding in an elevator, gasp  dramatically every time the doors open



        Say  to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barrelled  fingers.

        Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all  that,  I don't want to have to repeat it".

        Page yourself over the  intercom (do not disguise your voice).

        Kneel in front of the water  cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player within  sight)

        Shout random numbers while someone is counting.



        At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would  be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).

        Walk into a very busy person's  office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch  on/off 10 times.

        For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as  "Bob".

        Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go  do a number two".

        After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad  Jamaican accent. As in "The report's on your desk, Mon". Keep this up for one  hour.

        While an office mate is out, move their chair into the  elevator.

        In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead  repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!".

        At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God as my witness, I'll  never go hungry again".

        In a colleague's diary, write in 10am: "See  how I look in  tights".(Extra  points if it is a male, even more if he is your  boss)

        Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna trade?".

        Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same  person: "Do you  hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now".

        Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk  about it".

        Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.

        Speak with an  accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very important conference call.

        Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.

        Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act  genuinely surprised when someone points it out.

        Present meeting  attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit, smashing each biscuit with your  fist.

        During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.

        Arrange toy figures on the table to represent each meeting attendee, move them according to the movements of their real-life counterparts.


And if that wasn't enough for you, try this…


How to keep a  healthy level of insanity:


        At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with  sunglasses on and point a hair  dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

        Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have  to let one of you go."

        Every time someone asks you to do  something, ask if they want fries with  that.

        Put your rubbish bin on  your desk and label it IN."

        Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3  weeks. Once everyone has gotten over  his or her caffeine addictions, switch to  espresso.

        Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the  prophecy."

        Dont use any punctuation

        Use, too...much;  punctuation!

        As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

        Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

        Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

        Sing along at the  opera.

        Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

        Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

        Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't  attend their party because you're not in the mood.

        Have your  co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.

        When the  money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won! 3rd time this week!!!"

        When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, “run  for your lives, they're loose!"


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