Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...
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Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette
out.
Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Helpdesk: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a
note ..."
Customer: No ... wait a minute... I hadn't
inserted it yet... it's
Still on my desk... sorry ....
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Helpdesk: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to
the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
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Helpdesk: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Helpdesk: Would you click on start for me and
...
Male Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting
technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates damn it!
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Customer: Hi good afternoon, this is Martha, I
can't print. Every time I try it says 'Can't find
printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in
front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't
find it...
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Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Helpdesk: Do you have a colour printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
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Helpdesk: What's on your monitor now ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for
me in the supermarket.
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Helpdesk: And now hit F8.
Customer: It's not working.
Helpdesk: What did you do, exactly?
Customer: I hit the F-key 8-times as you told
me, but nothing's happening...
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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Helpdesk: Are you sure it's plugged into the
computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Helpdesk: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10
paces back.
Customer: OK
Helpdesk: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Helpdesk: That means the keyboard is not
plugged in. Is there
Another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here.
Ah...that one does work!
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Helpdesk: Your password is the small letter a
as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?
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A customer couldn't get on the internet.
Helpdesk: Are you sure you used the right
password?
Customer: Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do
it.
Helpdesk: Can you tell me what the password
was?
Customer: Five stars.
*
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Helpdesk: What antivirus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Helpdesk: That's not an antivirus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
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Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has
placed a screensaver
On My computer, but every time I move the
mouse, it disappears!
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Customer: I have a problem, my coffee cup
holder just snapped
Helpdesk: Cupholder?
Customer: Yeah, the one in the computer, you
push a button and it comes out. Mine just snapped off when I
put my cup on it
Helpdesk: Ummm, that’s the CD-ROM,
it’s not designed to hold coffee cups.
Customer: Oh.
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Helpdesk: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Helpdesk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter a, but how
do I get the circle around it?
* *
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In the days of 5 ¼ inch diskettes.
Customer: Please help, my floppy disk
isn’t working.
Helpdesk: Is it inserted in the drive
properly?
Customer: Yes, it came back to me from a
colleague with a note stapled on it for some changes I had to
make on a file.
Helpdesk: Did you say “STAPLED on
it”
Customer: Yes. Is that a bad thing?
* *
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And perhaps the most famous Helpdesk call of
all…
Customer: I can’t find the ANY key!
I’ve looked everywhere for it
Helpdesk: Any key?
Customer: Yes the message says “Press ANY
key to continue” and it’s not here.